Relationships gone sour...

The word sour has a number of definitions, but for this particular blog, I would like to define the word as something that is disagreeable, distasteful, and unpleasant. Relationships that become disagreeable, distasteful, and unpleasant do so for several reasons.  First, lack of communication is a huge part of sour relationships.  Communication is the key to any strong relationship and it takes open and honest words in order for a successful relationship to flourish.  When people close up and chose to not tell the truth due to fear and selfish ambition, things begin to fall apart.  All too often, problems arise and are not addressed which leads to the creation of a ticking time bomb that eventually explodes.  Somethings that are not communicated include expectations, desires, like, dislikes, true feelings, etc.  It surprises  me when individuals expect a person to know important pieces of information if they were never informed.  Honesty is another important key to any successful relationship.  When a person is honest, it builds up a foundation of trust, respect, faithfulness, and loyalty.  Honesty causes individuals to let down their guards and gain a sense of confidence that allows them to be their true selves in the relationship.  Finally, kindness is a huge factor that must be included in order to maintain a successful relationship. Often times, people become complacent and don't realize that the same thing it took to get the affection of the person in the beginning will be one of the things that will be needed for the maintenance of affection.

Dance Ministry

In the morning, I will have the opportunity to engage in my labor of love which is dance ministry.  Since I was in the 10th grade, I have loved to share the Word of God and greatness of God through dance.  I believe that God gave me this gift and has added his anointing to it for the uplifting and freeing of his people.  When I first began mime and dance, I received a number of prophecies from people throughout the Carolinas.  One woman told me that my gift would free so many people and that I should never stop using my ability for God's glory.  I have had a three year drought of not dancing simply because I did not make it a priority in my life.  For too long, I have been side tracked by things like school, leadership responsibilities, and the aspiration to use my gift for group fitness.  I am so thankful that I have a pastor who loves people, who believes in pressing people to pursue their destiny.  If it was not for him and his persistence, I don't think I would be using God's gift properly.  I just pray that people are blessed and do not see me but see the Glory of God.  Through dancing I have received breakthrough, healing, freedom, and a since of joy that cannot be provided by anything or anyone.  I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that dance is my gift, it's my ministry, and I will use it to bring about healing to the body of Christ.

Fitness

I have great news!  Yesterday I weighed in at -3.5lbs for a total weight loss of 4 lbs since I started my new program.  I am so proud of myself for sticking with this lifestyle change.  I am so ready to make moves that have never been made before and have successes that I have never had.  I was reading a blog the other day about how easy it is for people who are heavier to drop weight quickly, but for smaller people who don't have as much weight to lose, they have to work 10X as hard.  I was contemplating whether I should purchase a weight vest to add some weight to my body when I am doing cardio.  I wonder if it would place too much strain on my heart, but it would definitely help me burn the fat quicker.  

I am currently 156.5lbs.  According to Weight Watchers, I have 3.7 lbs to lose until I meet my first goal weight.  I am going to work really hard this week and try not to miss my workouts or go over my points.  One meal that I know is going to be really difficult is the meal on Thursday evening.  I may just go for the sushi and stay there.  I will post pictures soon so I can give my readers a visual of my weight loss progress from week to week.  I will try to post every two weeks.  July 1st here we come!!!

Fitness

I am in the process of trying to lose a total of 30 pounds. I joined Weight Watchers online to help keep me on track and thus far I have loss 1.5 lbs in a matter of 11 days. I would like to lose about 2.5 lbs per week, so I should be down 3.5 more lbs by this Saturday. My fitness schedule has definitely changed to help me get this weight off quicker but I don't think that its as effective as I initially imagined it would be. Currently I workout in the mornings on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday... and on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday afternoons or evenings for at least one hour. My workout currently consist of mainly cardio, but I do try to incorporate weights on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Weight Watchers is a good program because it encourages consumption of more fruits and vegetables which I wasn't eating enough of prior to starting this program. In addition, my friend sent me a food schedule designed by her fitness coach and personal trainer. He discourages the consumption of fruits unless plans to workout or for moderate work have been made. He also discourages consumption of carbohydrates, sugars, and fruit 3 hours prior to be time. The plan suggest that I eat at least 5-6 small meals per day consisting of mainly fish, turkey and vegetables, although some carbs are okay for breakfast and lunch.

Hopefully, I will be able to incorporate all of these suggestions and put them into place so that I can reach my goal weight of 130 lbs. by July 1st. That is only 11 weeks away. Currently I am 5'5" and my weight is 157.6. That means I have 27.6 lbs to lose in 11 weeks. On average, that is 2.5 lbs per week. That means that I need to work extra, extra, extra hard to get this weight off.

Well, that's all for now.

Relationships

Goodmorning! I started this morning off on a good note. I started out in the gym working out and listened to the book of Proverbs (excellent book by the way). Then I took a shower, gave two compliments, and had two ah ha moments, one about my attitude along the way and the other about relationships.

For so long, I have struggled with developing and maintaining good, quality relationships with people that I really need to have good, quality relationships with. I think it has been mainly due to three things: 1) my narcism, 2) my distrust for people, 3) my HIGH expectations of people. Maybe all of these coincide and overlap in someway, but I know that I am going to stop with the non-sense. Why you ask? Well, the Bible has told me to forgive, love, and trust in the Lord. I am starting today with forgiveness. There are some people in my past who I have truly not forgiven for their trespasses against me. Yet, I am such a hypocrite in that I want people to forgive me and look beyond my faults, and more importantly, I want God to forgive me as well.

I know that it is not good for me to live this life alone and I am thankful that I have my husband, my parents, and my brother to rely on whenever I need them. But I truly believe that God wants me to have other fruitful relationships while I am here on the earth. He wants me to enjoy life, enjoy the people that he has created, help those who are in need, and to not hold myself-feelings-thoughts- higher than him and his ways, thoughts, and feelings.

So yes, today, I am starting with forgiveness... Is there anyone that you need to forgive today?

Grant Writing Almost Complete

Graduate School

My grant is due on Friday April 13th and I have a few mistakes that I need to fix (formatting errors, etc). I am thankful that it is almost over but I must say that this process hasn't been as painful as I thought it would be. The first time I heard of grants and grant writing, I was intimidated because I did not understand the process that was involved. I just pray that God blesses me with this grant, because I know that I will not be able to get it with just what I have now. In need of extra favor, grace, and mercy. Once the grant is complete, I will work on completing my review on eNOS, endothelial dysfunction, lupus, and IFN-alpha. I am excited to learn new information.

Health and Fitness

On another note, I did okay on my diet yesterday. However, I fell into the trap of loading up on tostitos chips (my fav's by the way) last night and woke up this morning with heavy fluid retention. Hopefully by tomorrow, this fluid will be ALL GONE and I will be back to at least my starting weight. I will be working out tonight at Zumba and then James (our fitness instructor) will give Chela and I a FREE (yes I said FREE) personal training session. He compared my body type to watery ketchup and Chela's to thick ketchup. I don't want to be watery ketchup anymore, I mean really, it messes up the french fries, burgers, hotdogs, and whatever else. I like the Weight Watchers program thus far because it is giving me the ability to see areas that I need to work on and teaching me about balance as well. For example, yesterday I was going to beat myself up mentally because I overindulged for dinner. However, the program has something like forgiveness points so that I don't necessarily "get off course" I just use more points than my daily allotment, but they are still within my weekly allotment (woo hoo)! I also get extra points for exercising and any type of physical activity.

I am going to start working on my hip hop and reggaeton choreography. Hopefully, I will be able to start the new class in May or June, but I am working diligently to get in shape so I can look good, feel good, and be fabulous on stage (and of course give my students a FANTASTIC workout). I really have not desire to be on stage with my fat flopping everywhere. I want it gone, gone, gone.

I am also excited about this weekend number one because my in-laws are coming to visit. They have never come to visit us and I am really SHOCKED that they have decided to come now. I am going to make out a cleaning and repair list that will be completed Wednesday through Friday of this week. I would love for our house to be FABULOUS we they arrive. Loretta Bates (my Zumba Education Specialist) will also be coming to town this weekend so I will be attending her masterclass on Friday night and the Saturday morning masterclass as well. I am definitely excited to spend time with her and get to know her better. I don't think we hit it off too well the first time because I was disagreeing with her about the need to have a ZIN membership which I recently cancelled because I didn't feel that I was benefiting from it.

Natural Hair

I have been reading natural hair blogs and watching vloggers as well and I am seriously contemplating removing my locks. I feel like they fit me then but not now. My personality and identity has changed and I just want my natural hair back (if at all possible). I would love to keep my length and just take these locks out but I don't know if I have the patience (or time) to do so. Right now I am trying to spruce up my locks by using coconut oil, Taliah Wajiid's Leave In Conditioner called "Bodifier" and washing it at least every 5-7 days.

This is only the beginning...

I am thankful for new beginnings. This month is my month of new beginnings. I started reading a new book on April 1st entitled Soldier: The Life of Colin Powell, I submitted my first personal grant (NRSA), I joined Weight Watchers, planted a new garden, and started a new fitness program with my new found friend! Wow, April is definitely my month of new beginnings.

This blog is also a new beginning for me. Although I have done blogs before, this one is going to truly capture me as an individual. I am a wife, graduate student, zumba instructor, devoted Christian, and a lover of ALL things natural and pure. I love truth, purity, wholeness, and peace and I greatly appreciate people who are consistent.

I hope you find this blog helpful as it will contain information pertaining to natural hair, fitness, and relationships. I will also be posting about my weightloss journey and different hairstyles and makeup that I will be trying throughout the journey. HERE WE GO...